


Hold me close

by LilaView



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Byleth doesn't really talk but everyone understands him, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but they are gay trust me, kinda happy ending, you could say that they're only good friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 02:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20323888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilaView/pseuds/LilaView
Summary: The Blue Lions go on a mission to retreat the Lance of Ruin, which ends up in Sylvain having to face his brother. Though he keeps saying that he doesn't care, it actually does affect him and Felix seems to be the only one who can help him.





	Hold me close

Hurrying back from the training grounds, he couldn’t help but notice the rising of joy in his stomach. He had spent the whole day trying to improve his technique, striking the training dummies with his sword again and again. But the training dummies didn’t fight back, so he ended up hitting them frustrated until Ashe interrupted him. At first Felix was almost flustered that Ashe saw him letting out his anger on the poor wooden guys as if he was the unhinged boar prince himself, but as soon as Ashe told him about Byleth summoning them for a mission, his mood changed. He just nodded, put his sword away and followed him to the classroom.

Finally, after weeks of dull training, he would be able to fight actual people again. Anticipating the challenge, he sat down and eagerly waited for the meeting to start. “Hey, watcha smiling about?”, Sylvain sat down next to him, chirping some nonsense in his always cheerful tone. Felix frowned. “I’m not smiling.”, he said, ignoring Sylvain blathering about how he could always detect a smile, finally punching him when Byleth started talking. He noticed Sylvain rubbing his arm while quietly complaining, but he knew for a fact that he hadn’t actually hurt him, so he stopped paying attention.

Byleth summarised the mission in a few sentences: a relict was stolen by thieves and they should stop them. Which was way too little information, but they all knew that Byleth was more of a nonverbal person, so halfway through the meeting, Dimitri joined Byleth to explain the details, while Byleth nodded. At the end of the meeting, Dimitri added nervously that the group of thieves was under the rule of Miklan, the disgraced son of margrave Gautier. As soon as Dimitri mentioned Miklan, Felix’ head turned to Sylvain. He knew that the mission sounded too good to be true. As expected not only Felix looked at Sylvain, but every single one of the Blue Lions, and as expected Sylvain did nothing more than smile his foolish smile. “It’s not like I got a problem with that.”, he just shrugged and tried his best to look as carefree as ever, but when he looked Felix in the eyes, he couldn’t help but notice the darkness lurking behind Sylvains amber eyes.

Sylvain proceeded to tell everyone how the mission was no big deal and by the time they departed, there was a silent agreement to stop asking him. They traveled through the woods of Faerghus for a few days and soon enough Felix recognised the trees and valleys of their childhood homes. He couldn’t sleep the last night before they started their invasion. When everyone retreated into their tents, he stayed by the campfire, silently staring into the flames. 

“If you’re going to keep on looking into the fire, you’ll ruin your eyes.”, a voice purred into his ear and Felix nearly jumped into the fire. “Sylvain, do you want me to slaughter you here and now?”, he hissed, but Sylvain only laughed. For a moment he seemed as lightheaded as always and Felix started to believe just for a second that Sylvain might not be affected by the mission whatsoever, but then he suddenly grew quiet. Felix wanted to say something, anything to help him, cheer him up maybe, though he never had his way with words. It hurt him seeing his friend like this. “You know, I sometimes think about what would have happened, if I had been born without a crest. Maybe, if my brother had possessed a crest, I wouldn’t have been born at all. Maybe, we could have been friends in another timeline.” With each word his voice faded until it finally cracked and he stopped talking. Not knowing how to respond, he just looked at Sylvain, who was now staring into the fire. And without thinking about it, Felix took Sylvain’s hand and squeezed it as if he could drive the sadness out of his friend’s heart.

The fight turned out to be uneventful. Since none of the thieves were trained fighters, they couldn’t stand a chance against Byleth’ genius tactics and the Blue Lions’ strength. Miklan was barricaded in the heart of the thieves hideout, so when they were sure to have fought off all his lackeys, Byleth gathered the students to strike the final blow against him. He wasn’t as easy to defeat as the others, but finally he had fallen to the ground gripping the Lance of Ruin as if his life depended on it. Felix turned to Sylvain. He seemed calm and collected but his expression changed as they heard a disgustingly bubbly noise. And when Felix looked back, Miklan was gone and a hideous monster had taken his place.

Fighting the monster wasn’t impossible for them, but every one of them was shaken to their core. Of course, they had fought demonic beasts before, however they never thought about where they came from, let alone that it could be that there were people inside of them. In the end there was only Miklan’s corpse left on the ground laying next to the Lance of Ruin. The one thing that he wanted the most, was what ruined and ended his life.

They didn’t really talk on their way back to the monastery. None of them dared to talk to Sylvain, who fell behind every time they moved. On their second day of traveling, Byleth suddenly slowed down and started walking next to Felix. When he looked up, he saw the unspoken question in Byleth’ eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”, Felix sighed. Byleth looked at him, not saying anything else except ‘hm’. “I’ll try talking to him.” Byleth nodded satisfied and picked up his pace to join Dimitri at the front of their group.

Felix couldn’t really understand how Sylvain managed to make his horse walk slower than the walking part of their group, but somehow he did. He didn’t seem to notice Felix coming closer, which made Felix want to scold him for being such an easy target, but he swallowed his sharp remark. “Hey, you clown.”, Felix shouted and Sylvain winced. “Felix”, he replied surprised. “I’m tired. Let me ride with you.”, he said and without waiting for Sylvain’s consent, he climbed onto his horse. He knew that they were way too slow for him to threaten to fall down, but nevertheless he put his arms around Sylvain’s waist and held him close as if his life depended on it. Because he felt like Sylvain’s life just might.

After a few days of traveling they arrived back at the monastery. Though Felix tried to keep an eye out for him, it was hard trying to guess what he was thinking as Sylvain had perfected the art of pretending everything was all right. While everyone was busy repairing their weapons and armour, Felix noticed that Sylvain’s horse was safe and sound, but his owner was nowhere to be found.

He knocked on the door of Sylvain’s room, which he opened a few seconds later. For just a moment there was a glance of honest surprise on his face, but he changed into his usual foolish grin in a second. “Felix? Do you need anything? Did you miss me already?”, he winked and Felix felt his ears get hot. That idiot. “I just … you- nevermind”, he stopped, turned around and left. If Sylvain needed help, he could ask.

After dinner, he decided it was time to go to sleep. The last week had been more than exhausting and the thought of sleeping in an actual bed was more than inviting. Laying down he waited to fall asleep, but the more he tried and wanted the sleep the more awake he felt. His thoughts kept wandering back to Sylvain. That boisterous clown. Felix knew that the fight against Miklan didn’t bounce off of him like he was pretending. Not after he turned into that monster. Heavens, everyone knew, but he was stubborn enough to play pretend. Felix hated the darkness he saw in his eyes, the hurt. He hated that fool. All he wanted was for him to be happy.

Sitting up he let out a frustrated sigh. If Sylvain didn’t ask for help, he couldn’t just force him, could he? It’s not like Sylvain ever forced him. Letting his gaze wander across the room, a sudden realisation hit him.

It was one summer that changed his childhood and life forever. His father seemed more tense than usual, but since he was too young, nobody told him about what was going on. Not until the armour of his brother returned home. Without his brother. He was furious. His father kept talking about how proud he was of his son, but Felix couldn’t understand what he meant. He’d rather have his brother home alive. How could he talk about dying being the greatest part of a knight’s life? Felix hated him for saying this.

He locked himself up in his room, refusing to talk to anyone for days. His father didn’t seem to mind, though he had at least one son he could be proud of. Felix spent his days staring at the walls of his bedroom, trying to feel anything but hatred, but he couldn’t. Until one day there was a knock at his door. He didn’t answer, of course he wouldn’t; they just wanted him to get outside so that they could pretend everything was okay. That was when he heard a familiar voice. “Please, let me in.”

It was Sylvain. He had heard about the tragedy. Felix didn’t feel like talking and he understood, so they just sat on his bed in silence. Slowly, another feeling spread in his chest, replacing the roaring flames of hatred. Something cold and numbing. And when the night came, Felix started crying.

He couldn’t stop for hours, just sobbing, wailing, and screaming. And Sylvain was just there. First, he only held his hand, but Felix endet up snuggling against his chest while Sylvain gently caressed his hair. Though, he couldn’t predict the future, Sylvain promised him that he would always be there for him, and that he wouldn’t dare to die without him.

Felix sighed. It was way too late, but there was no point in trying to turn around, because he knew that he could try to sleep, but wouldn’t be able to. He didn’t mind that he had already changed into his pyjamas and that his hair was spilling over his shoulders in waves; he had to do the right thing.

When he knocked on Sylvain’s door, he didn’t open at first, but Felix could tell by the light streaming through the door gap that Sylvain was still awake. “Open up, please.”, he just whispered against the cold wood of the door. And after a few seconds, the door cracked open.

“I’m sleeping here tonight.”, he stated in a tone that Sylvain knew he had no choice but to accept. Felix sat down on his bed looking at Sylvain, who tried to keep his facade intact before sitting down next to him. “Listen, I only know about losing a brother, but I suppose losing a brother you never really had, is equally awful.”, he looked up and when his eyes met Sylvain’s, he noticed the tears building up in them.

Not a second later Sylvain was sobbing, and wailing like he used to. And Felix held his hand and let him snuggle up against his chest while caressing his hair and telling him sweet soothing words. And he promised him that he would never ever leave him, let alone die. And they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Not knowing about how much pain the future might bringt, but knowing that they had each other, and for them that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried to get as much information as I can, but since Nintendo won't tell me much about Glenn, I had to come up with something on my own. Please also note that English is not my mother tongue, so there might be some errors, but I hope they didn't bother you. Aynway, thank you very much for reading. I hope you're thinking of these two idiots as much as I do.


End file.
